Betrayal & Irony
by Moderndaydrifter
Summary: Kellerman’s thoughts on his divorce and what could’ve happened if he had his gun that horrible night.


_A/N: Okay, my muse has been rolling on Homicide stories lately since I recently bought season four and season five on DVD! I'm so excited! Anyway, not sure how many people out there are still reading H:LOTS fics but here's another one._

_Summary: Kellerman's thoughts on his divorce and what could've happened if he had his gun that horrible night._

_Rating: PG-13, there are a few cuss words, this is your warning if you don't want to read them!_

_Disclaimer: I don't own any characters associated with H:LOTS. This is for entertainment purposes only and no money is being made off of this._

_Reminder: Just to refresh your memory, in season four Mike mentions to Meldrick that he wasn't sure what he would have done if he would've had his gun when he found Annie cheating on him. This takes place in the episode, "The Hat" I just decided to take it one step further and write in detail on it. Enjoy!_

_**Betrayal & Irony**_

Annie was the love of my life, or so I thought anyway. We even moved slowly in our relationship. That's what all the professionals say right? Move slow, make sure it's true love, and get to know the real person. I was never one for getting advice from psychologists are psychiatrists anyway, my failed marriage being proof that they are humans and can be wrong too.

Like I said, we moved slow. Annie and I lived together for three years before we finally decided to tie the knot and make it legal. It was the happiest day of my life; we didn't leave our bedroom for two weeks because we were so caught up in married bliss.

For the first year everything went smoothly. She worked at the medical examiner's office while I was part of the Baltimore Police Department's Arson Unit. We both worked crazy hours but that didn't seem like a problem. We'd come home after not seeing each other for awhile and it seemed to make our relationship stronger. I was a fool for even thinking that. I'm a detective for crying out loud; I should've spotted her drifting away sooner than when I did.

Our marriage ended after 14 months, and it didn't end pretty. I remember it so vividly, almost like it happened yesterday. Funny how your memory can remember things like that, every emotion and detail, but you can't remember a simple telephone number you need for a lead in a case.

I had had a long day. Matthew Roland was at it again, torching a factory building that he wasn't making money on and hoping that his insurance company would pull through for him and give him a check for the ruins. I had evidence against him, but some how the attorney working the case knocked what I had down without even losing an eyelash. I was pissed and all I wanted to do was come home to Annie, maybe have a beer or two, and just relax the rest of the evening with her by my side.

Yeah, like I said, I had a bad day. Bad won't even begin to describe my night. I could sense something the minute I got in the elevator and made my way up to the 4th floor to my apartment. I wouldn't exactly call it a premonition, but I had a gut feeling that something wasn't right behind the door of my residence. I unlocked the dead bolt and opened the door, hearing a slight squeak from the hinges. The apartment was dark and silent which was weird since Annie's car was parked outside and she was never in bed before I came home.

I turned on the living room light, making my way down the hall towards our bedroom. The door was closed. At this point my heart was beating out of my chest. I leaned in to the oak door, trying to hear anything from the other side. It was silent which made my curiosity come out even more.

"Annie?" I paused, trying to hear again. I heard movement. At first I wasn't sure if it was a man's voice. I told myself that it was just my imagination being paranoid. I couldn't even move my hand to turn the knob; I just couldn't raise it high enough.

"Hold on Mike!" I heard her voice, but it was really shaky. That was one thing I was good at picking up on, when someone was trying to hide something just by his or her voice. My patience wore thin, and I finally opened the door. There on the bed, MY bed, was Annie and a man I had never seen before. Her eyes were as wide as golf balls.

"Mike, this is not what it looks like! I can explain!" Tears fell down her face as she got up, revealing that she was only in her underwear.

I ran my hands over my hair, looking at the man that was now fully dressed but it was evident a few minutes ago that he wasn't. He stood up, not sure what to do. I could see the hesitation in his eyes knowing that he was busted.

"What the HELL is going on Annie?" I raised my voice not able to hold my anger back for another second.

"Mike…" Her voice grew quiet as she covered herself with her bathrobe. "Please Mike, calm down."

She knew that telling me to calm down was probably one of the worst things to say. I never had liked when someone told me that, and it only made my temper flare that much more. "Calm down? You want ME to calm down?" I stepped towards her, my face red as I gritted my teeth. Averting my eyes to the bastard that had screwed my wife, I couldn't help but get up in his face. He backed himself up into a wall, he was scared and I liked that feeling of knowing that he was full of fear.

"Who the fuck are you?" I looked him straight in the eyes as he trembled in his own shoes. He didn't answer. "So having sex with a married woman makes you mute huh?" I turned to walk away from him, but before I did I reared back, impacting my fist to his jaw with a loud crack as he fell back, his body slammed against the wall he was just recently backed up against. That wasn't enough for me so I sent my knee to his chest causing him to hurl over, coughing uncontrollably. I moved in for more but Annie's pleads made me stop, and that made me realize she was still in the room, the lady I once loved but that ended in the matter of seconds.

"How could you do this to me Annie? Till death do us part. I guess vows are just words aren't they?"

She couldn't look at me. She buried her face in her hands. At that moment I felt that beating the living piss out of the man that wrecked my home wasn't enough for me. I reached for my own hip, where normally my .45 caliber Glock sat; tonight the holster was vacant. It dawned on me that I had left it at the stationhouse for Jerry to take home and work on it for me. The site had been off all week and he was an ace at fixing it.

I gripped the holster and squeezed tightly. There was a reason I had left the gun at the office. I'm not much of a man on religion, but God had kept it there to keep me from blowing away Annie and the man who's identity I still do not know to this day.

I was going to kick Annie out that evening, but I couldn't stand to even be in that apartment where all the demons and ghosts surrounded me. I stared at them a few more moments and without a word made my exit. I wasn't exactly sure where I was going to go so I just began to walk, letting my legs take me where they wanted to go. I made my way up Thames Street and down Pennsylvania Avenue. I walked to Towson and I still don't know how I got there seeing as it was all the way across town. My final stop was down to the inner harbor. I stopped at a liquor store, grabbing a pint of Jim Beam to accompany me as I contemplated my future.

The murky water that settled around the docks always seemed to calm me down. I had always loved boats and things since I was young so I sat on the edge of a dock, watching as they sailed in and out of the harbor, going out on fishing trips and things like that. I opened the bottle of Jim Beam, the only friend I had at the moment and took a few sips, feeling the alcohol burn my lips and down to my stomach. I savored the flavor and took another gulp.

Guilt had set in. All I could think was that I did something wrong to push her away and make her see another man. I worked very strange hours, being a police officer that was expected. I wasn't home for her and that made her go outside the marriage for comfort.

I leaned my head back on a wooden pole, looking up at the stars. The cold night air brushed up against me, winter was coming soon but I didn't care, that was the last thing on my mind. Winter was almost like my mindset. Cold, empty and dark. Hazy and cloudy, making everyone grouchy. I had just became another statistic, another divorce to go down in the books for America. As they say, divorce is as American as apple pie, but I honestly thought we'd last forever.

I'm not sure what would have happened if I had my gun on me. Would I be capable of murder, even if it was because my wife had betrayed me? I see so many murders involving adultery in my job that it's a reality, almost like a lifestyle. It's something so real that even me, a Baltimore City police officer could commit. Irony played a huge part that night. I hardly go –anywhere- without my gun. That was the first night in a long time you would have seen me without it and Annie cheating on me was partly the reason without me even knowing it.

It's scary thinking of how close I came to taking two lives. I'm lucky though, instead of sitting up in Jessup on death row, I'm working the Homicide unit now with the best of the best. I'm living on my boat in the harbor, the only place in Baltimore that can really calm me down. Life could be better, but when I'm having a horrible day I just think of that night and how close I came to killing Annie and the unknown man I found in my bed.

The End


End file.
